The following was written on the plane, en route to Los Angeles. Having no wi-fi, I forgot to post it, until just now, three weeks later.
I’m currently flying over the mid-west, the dry prairies below us. But beneath me is a vast supply of water. In my airplane seat that is. Sit tight, more on that in a moment. Today, like most days, is chock full of more “mis-adventures”. From trying to check in at American Airlines (we were flying United) to walking all the way to the opposite end of the terminal looking for the right gate (I really should start reading signs), I’ve come to realize I am terribly inefficient. My heart is in it and I try to be somewhat organized, but things never really get executed very well. In my defense, everything always works out.
Last night the issues all began. Around 4pm (when the banks close at 5) I realized that I seemed to have lost my debit card. Yes, this is the second time in about a month. I rushed over the bank, took out a massive lump of cash, and hoped it would show up. I started packing around 6pm after Dr D. had arrived and I realized my credit card and U- ID were also M.I.A. Of course my friends seem to be uber organized, which only makes me look like one giant hot mess all the time, but this doesn’t seem to stop my frantic ways. I tore apart every purse, bag, and wrislet I own, dumping piles of receipts, gift cards and coins on the floor. To top it off, I went to plug in my cell phone, which had died from the battery being drained, and the stupid device wouldn’t turn on. I tried 5 outlets, 2 chargers, and taking the battery out a few times. Nothing. Just my luck. I figured I’d be stuck in the middle of the Mojave desert with no money or way to call for help. Fun times...if I had a death wish. I ran some back up plans in my head. Lots of them. Worst case scenarios, alternate ways to contact people. I paced. I took deep breaths. Finally, after an hour or so, the credit card and ID showed up (Thanks Mom and Dr. D). The phone miraculously came back to life with a 66% charged battery to top it off. We were going to survive the great Mojave after all.
These business trips really make me wonder what image I portray to the rest of the world. My friends always think I am so organized, so efficient and so together. False. I’m a whirlwind of accidents, trips, falls, and spills. My name is certainly not Grace and eloquence is not my forte. This terrifies me for the most part – I used to be organized! I was probably the only 9th grader who’d rather stay home on a Friday night cleaning my closet and color coding everything than go out with friends. I was probably the only 6th grader who asked for a label machine for Christmas. I didn’t get it… so I asked again the following year. Maybe I’d be more put together if a little Brother Labelmate had showed up under the tree. I can’t even pinpoint when it all began to change (though I suspect April 2010, when I believed my life to be ending). People used to make fun of me for being anal, constantly telling me to loosen up and live a little. I guess I took it to the extreme. Maybe one day I’ll find the perfect balance. On a similar note, I used to think that I wanted to be a strong, independent woman. One who could care for her self and never needed a man. Frankly, I’m beginning to think I should reconsider. Instead of a husband, I think I need a nanny, at least a personal assistant. I’m hesitant to say I want a man to take care of me, but I suppose a little backup help, a teammate in life, wouldn’t be the worst idea. My next life goal will be to find someone for this. If were organized enough, I'd draft a job description and interview questionnaire!
So this morning we woke up, and I had some packing to do still. I randomly decided it was essential to shower (it was, believe me), even though it wasn’t really in the time schedule. (See I'm organized enough to have a schedule with built in wiggle room!) So we left about 15 minutes late, but got to the airport with well over an 90 minutes to spare. Success, I’d say. Upon getting to the airport, I ended up checking in at the wrong airline, then couldn’t find the right airline, and messed up which baggage scanner to go through – all within the first 10 minutes. I had warned Dr. D earlier of this and told her all the issues A had to roll with in San Fran last year. I anticipate this trip will be an eye opening experience for her. That’s for sure.
Our layover in DC was a relatively short one, though silly me forgot to read the terminal signs and we ended up walking a long ways out of the way. I guess there are signs for a reason. On the upside, we ran into a kid Dr. D went to undergrad/med school with. I’ve met him on multiple occasions, so it was a happy little reunion in the middle of the country. In all my travels, I’ve never run into anyone I’ve known at airports. It could be that I am just not very observant. On our way to the gate though, I am pretty certain I saw one of the guys from the TV show “The Fabulous Beekman Boys”. It’s not a big show, so he didn’t have much fanfare, but it sure did look like him!
So currently, I am on the plane. Four hours to go . A little while ago, the flight attendant came by with drinks. I got a diet coke, of course, and a cup of ice water. She placed the napkin on my tray and the air currant from the air conditioning blew it away down the aisle. The woman gave me a second napkin, which as soon as she turned away, blew away again. I was too embarrassed to pick them up, so I let the float around the aisle. Of course, as soon as I took my first sip of water, I spilled a bit down my shirt. No napkin to clean it up, so I just sucked it up. An hour later or so, I went to finish my water and spilled about 1/3 of the cup down my pant legs. Ice cold water. It was awakening, that’s for sure. I had no choice but to reach out for my long lost napkins to dry myself off. Satisfied with my efforts and laughing at my foolishness, I went to open my laptop to write this blog. But as I pulled down my tray table, the cup knocked over again, spilling the rest of the water and all of the ice all over me, my laptop bag, my shoes, my blanket, and the floor. Restrained in my tiny seat and unable to jump up and dry off, my first reaction was just to throw all of the ice on the floor. But now, the ice sits below me, slowly melting all over my flip flops, freezing my perfectly painted little pink toes (they are quiet beautiful).
Besides the water, the flight is uneventful. I have nothing better to watch than the awkward twenty- somethings cuddle across the aisle from me, who have nothing better to do than nuzzle and make out. Get a room, this is a plane. Your 300 newest friends have no desired to listen to smooch noises. Ick. If not for the canoodling, I'd have thought he was gay and she was his personal assistant, simply by the way they are dressed. Clearly my storyline in the "who do you think these people are" game was inaccurate. Though, she did spend approximately an hour filing his fingernails while he sipped his drink and watched a movie....not your usual straight guy behavior, but this recycled oxygen does funny things to people!